What Do You Want?
A Certified Funeral Celebrant is someone who is trained to preside over funeral & memorial services, and more importantly to create a personalized service to reflect the personality and life style of the deceased. We are fortunate enough to have Marlene Keyser on our staff providing this valuable service at our funeral home and I have asked her to share her experiences with us on our blog.
What do YOU want?
Recently I had the opportunity to meet with a very special lady who was dying of cancer. This was the first time I had met someone before I presided at their funeral service, and I believe it was an incredible experience for both of us.
For one reason or another Sally was not a member of a local church. In these cases, as a Certified Celebrant, I am called upon to help the family by writing a very personalized service with all the ingredients to make it memorable and appropriate. During my first visit with Sally, I sat in her wheelchair beside the bed in the living room and we talked about her life. We shared a few laughs and a few tears. Her son was very helpful with the facts and I think it gave him the chance to say things he wanted his mother to hear. I took many notes and after about an hour, I said goodbye and promised to return soon.
When I arrived for my second visit with Sally, I found her condition had deteriorated significantly. She was in a lot of pain but still recognized me and pointed at the wheelchair. During this visit we talked between short drug-induced naps. I asked her if she was afraid to die, and she said “no, I’m at peace and not at all afraid.” Then I asked her if she had any regrets, and her only regret was that she was not going to be around to love and guide her grandchildren. Finally, I asked which songs and scripture she wanted included in her funeral service and Sally said, “Play ‘Stroll Across Heaven With You’ for my husband.” And then we prayed together. At her funeral service her son told me that Sally slept the most peaceful sleep after I left that day.
I had a rare opportunity to meet and plan Sally’s funeral service while she was still alive. I know some people are in denial about their own death and are not in any way comfortable discussing their demise or any activities to follow. This leaves all the decisions about funeral plans to a grieving family. Others, like Sally, take control and let their wishes be known. You should too … as a gift to your loved ones.
