As we walk through a variety of department stores this time of year, we begin to see colors of red, pink, purple, white (aka the colors associated with love). These colors may have us thinking of our loved ones and giving us the urge to express our love for them; or we can simply see them and think nothing of it. More often than not, February tends to be the month we are a little more expressive about our love towards spouses, family, and friends. Out of that expression, come a lot of stories so I want to share with you Bill and Dorothy’s love story. Because who doesn’t love a good love story?
Bill and Dorothy have been together since they were young kids. While their life circumstances changed many times throughout the decades together (graduations, marriage, buying homes, babies, vacations, deaths, pandemics), many things remained the same. They consistently expressed their love to one another whether the expression was simple or extravagant. They weren’t afraid to fight when necessary and always made sure to never let an argument go unresolved. Periodically, they had outings separate from one another, fueling their individual sides outside of the marriage; always returning to one another feeling more connected than ever. They took every opportunity they saw to learn new things about one another and discover new experiences as a couple. Their life was comprised of both exciting and challenging times and through it all, Bill and Dorothy’s love never waivered. In fact, it only continued to grow stronger and deeper.
Those around them frequently noticed Bill and Dorothy’s genuine and authentic love. They undoubtedly saw their love for one another was clear, apparent, and real. Others admired them and wondered, “What is the secret? How do they do it?” As they got older and their family continued to grow, their grandchild asked that very question.
“Grandpa, why do you love Grandma so much?” asked the young child.
Bill gently set his granddaughter on his lap and said, “Kiddo, when you’ve lived as long as I have you begin to learn what’s really important in your life. And when you meet someone like Grandma, you not only learn but also have the desire to never waste a minute worrying about things that aren’t the most important to you. Rather, you spend your time putting all your love and energy into the people and experiences in your life that you care about deeply.” And that’s what Bill did, until his last breath.
Similar to February prompting us to share our love for one another, funerals have a tendency to prompt the variety of people who have gathered to share stories of the individual they’re honoring/remembering. Many have the experience of learning something new about their person with all the stories shared. While they are forever grateful for the memories they already hold and the new ones they will begin to carry, there can also be moments of thinking, “I wish I would have seen these things when he/she/they were alive.” or “I wish I would have taken advantage of every available moment to tell him/her/them how much I loved and cared about them.”
Don’t wait to express your love for those in your life that you care about. Don’t wait for the funeral to learn new things about your friends, family members, and spouse. The time is now! Take advantage of every possible moment to love one another, create a life together, and build memories. Don’t put love and life on hold.
Here’s to living a better life as your best self.
Brittany Squillace, MA, LMFT
Grief Counselor
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